Who to trust in disconcerting times?
The 3 important questions to ask when wondering if you should trust someone in any given situation:
- Does this person have a demonstrated, reliable pattern of behaving in the way I am hoping? If not, then why do I insist on expecting otherwise? (Remember one definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over while expecting different results!)
- Does this person have demonstrated expertise in the area I am intending to rely on him for? Don't expect 30-year-old wisdom from a 12 year old. Don't necessarily trust financial advice from your hairdresser. Do not expect accurate emotional functioning from a substance abuser. Any addiction destroys that ability. Don't assume that because a person is successful in one arena they will be competent in another.
- Is there a reliable history with this person that they have my best interests at heart? A repetitive history of behavior that undermines your well-being makes it unwise to continue to invest your trust.
You should be able to answer "yes" to all three of the above questions for someone to be considered a good candidate for your trust. People can be trustworthy in some areas and very undependable in others. It is your responsibility to protect yourself and learn how to discern this. Stop pointing the finger at the person who is disappointing you and start making the changes you need to protect your health and peace of mind.
When it comes to trust, talk is cheap. Don't listen to what people say, watch what they do (or don't do!)
Are you a naive truster? Are you aware that trusting the untrustworthy is bad for your health? Did you know that the health insurance companies know this? Learn more here.