John was confused.
He came to see me saying, “I don’t know what to do.” As his confusion grew, so did his anxiety and sense of pressure. He was in danger of making a quick decision, thinking it would put an end to his misery. He was about to jump from the frying pan into the fire. I needed to slow him down, and lead him through a path of discernment.
It Used to Be Easier to Hear Ourselves Think
The pace of modern life has dislocated us from an inner life. Think about it. Before electricity, radio, TV, iPods and the Internet, the average person spent a lot more time in silence. Before the car and mass transportation we spent a lot more time walking in silence, our bodies moving (which actually helps us process information and think better.) We need to consciously make choices to unplug so we can hear ourselves in a less frantic state. It is even more important when we feel conflicted, confused, betwixt and between. If we don’t have a process to help us make life choices from our deeper Selves, the culture and media will be happy to brainwash you into choices made from your more primitive, limbic brain. Slow down whenever you feel the urge to choose based on fear, anxiety, acquisitiveness, consumption, competition or aggression. The following process can help you tap into your higher knowing.
After getting more relaxed, use a pen and paper to work with the questions in the chart below. Answer one or two questions a day. Write down the question and then force yourself to write three whole pages in response to that one question. Just keep writing, whatever comes up. Keep asking and answering yourself any questions that come up while you are writing.
Identify a person or historical figure you truly admire who embodies qualities you would like to embody in the situation you are facing. While in a relaxed state, bring that person to mind very clearly. Ask, “What would __X___do?” Have an inner conversation with that person to explore your concerns, and listen within for their guidance.
If you remain stuck, identify a wise person to air out your confusion with. Only talk about your situation with people whose lives you admire, who are living the sort of life that makes you say, “I’ll have what she’s having.”